1, 2, 3, FAIL! The Wonderful Cruelty of Rhythm Heaven’s Result Screens

Its no secret how much I love the Rhythm Heaven (or Paradise, or Tengoku, or whatever it randomly changes to in your region) series. Rhythmically punching scribbly footballs, tap dancing with technicolour monkeys or keeping a press conference of sweaty luchadores strictly to the beat sows that sort of addiction that keeps playing behind your eyelids when you go to sleep at night.

However, for a series of such unrelenting fun and colour and sound, these games have the most evil results screen in gaming. And I love it. Feeling like you did ok only to be confronted with the most mockingly busted piano chord and Try Again message covered in uncoordinated spirals (or tears in the western release, the game is crying you sucked so much).

But don’t panic! This is tough love. The game just wants you to be better. Once you hit that elusive pass mark you’ll definitely get a satisfying reward for your efforts:

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Yup. You were flawless…..ly Ok. With a sound effect somewhere between a conceding sigh and a fart, and the most ‘you tried your best’ musical ditty ever composed in the background. Oh you wanted that Superb rating? Better practice some more…

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