Arkham Knight Done Right? Quite

So… I just finished Arkham Knight. I made an executive decision to buy it on the PS4 based on 2 factors. Firstly, the PC port has been announced as being absolute horse-cock and secondly, it no longer exists. Short story: I had fun.

Long story:

The game begins by following on from Arkham City. *SPOILERS*  SOUND THE HORN! The joker is dead and he now lays lifeless awaiting cremation. The button flashes ‘X’ on the screen like it’s having a seizure. I hammered on the ‘X’ button over and over, being well seasoned in the button mashing genre. Sudden embers begin to appear around the joker and I’m excited. I keep at it but there doesn’t seem to be any progress… Just the same number of weak flames bubbling around the joker’s form. I won’t let it beat me! I OWN YOU! “What the fuck? This is absolute dog shit! Why isn’t it… oh you’re supposed to hold the button”. Faces and palms were in alignment.

I played Arkham Knight to almost 100% completion. I have so much time and respect for this Batman series for bringing a number of innovations to gaming. The combat is fluid and fun, though it will likely be the thing that irritates you most. Ugh, the fucking stun rod guys! You’ll be flying around the combat circle, handing each of the enemies their respective arses, building up a combo to do the occasional finished take down and then you’ll accidentally wack one of these jerks. You can’t hit them in the face, since they seem to have lightning quick reflexes and manage to give your fists of justice the shocker. You don’t receive the hard counter to this until waaaaaay later in the game. All you can do is jump over them and hope they piss off for a while so you can build your combo again to take them down. Strong as my napalm rage is, it is probably my only complaint about the combat.

Speaking of lazy content, fuck the riddler

The game tries to focus on its new addition quite heavily. This, of course, being the fabled BatMobile™. It comes as the newer tank design from the dark knight trilogy and I think it is the best design yet. The purpose of the vehicle isn’t so much for maneuverability though. As Batman, you can basically fly around the city so why bother with the car? This is definitely something the devs knew, so they crowbarred the BatWagon into every possible crevice they could. Chase this guy down. Shoot all these unmanned drones. Use the winch to pull a thing off the wall. Use the winch again to put a virus in a bomb (?). It’s absolutely everywhere. This is bad news for people like me that can’t stand driving in any sort of game. It always leads to the inevitable race side quests. Do people actually enjoy doing these? Do the devs enjoy making them? It just seems like a lazy attempt at putting extra content in.

Speaking of lazy content, fuck the riddler. Typical to any sandbox title you will need to go around the map and pick things up. These things consist of little green question marks, which apparently are riddles or, as the Riddler would put it, a test of my mental capabilities. This would include such taxing challenges as:

  • Pick up the trophy from a room
  • Pick up the trophy from the wall
  • Pick up the trophy by punching the glass
  • Pick up the trophy by pulling down a destructible wall
  • Pick up the trophy by looking behind the thing
  • Pick up the trophy by blah blah blah bored

This is not good game design! It’s, in my humble opinion, the worst part of any potential game that exists or will exist. The Riddler missions started with Catwoman being captured and you having to do 10 challenges to get a bomb off her neck. This was fun! I really enjoyed doing the going to different areas and doing various challenges to see the end result of Catwoman inviting me to a hotel. I did all 10 and Catwoman was freed. We left the building and in comes one of Gotham’s most wanted in a giant freaking robot. Obviously. Catwoman and I destroy all of the Riddlers minions and I geared up for a final showdown with this asshat. The last enemy robot has its head caved in and the riddler announces, as he lowers himself into the floor, “You’ll have to solve all my riddles to face me”. No.

At the beginning I mentioned I nearly got 100% completion. You need to bring in all the most wanted of Gotham in order to get the true ending. That means getting all this Riddler bollocks done. Life’s too short… I’m going to play Bloodborne again.


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