It’s only Total War, but I like it

I am a closet Warhammer fan.

However my interest in Warhammer has never made it so far that I have gone ‘full hammer’. Similar to how I have an interest in Eve on-line but have never bought myself to play it for more than 6 hours. Basically what it boils down to is, im a spectator.

I also know very little about the lore around the Warhammer universe but with the up and coming release of Warhammer Total War I’m hoping this might change, but its unlikely I will be picking up a pack of discount paintbrushes any time soon.

Along with a lack of Warhammer experience I also have the added problem with being rubbish at Total War games. The basic premiss I understand, little people with long sticks are good against little people on horses, archers are good at shooting slow things etc. This basic idea of one unit type beating another is fine, however I always find half my units seem to be chilling-out just off camera and the other half are going for a death march into an on coming charge, this shows a lack of skill at planning the long game, predicting an outcome.

My strategy experience in the past has boiled down to games like Warcraft, Starcraft and Dawn of War. Where the idea is handling small scale units and trying to get ahead of the opposition by being the fastest with short-cut keys and resource generation, I feel Total War is a more mature type of strategy requiring time and patience something I lack.

People seem angry when you occupy their city and beat the local religion out of them

What about micro-managing your empire? again this is something which always falls down for me. No one ever seems to be happy with what I’m doing, I never have any food available for troops and people seem angry when you occupy their city and beat the local religion out of them. Who knew.

My overall skill level in Total War games is lacking but I keep coming back for more, and Warhammer will be no exception, maybe this time I might figure it out.

Games Workshop have been doing allot of good work in the digital space for some time. I’m easily impressed though because they have ‘FUCKING SPACE MARINES’. Dawn of war was a great game, one I played allot of. I even enjoyed the 3rd person game they released – Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine. I recently played Shadows of Mordor and it reminded me allot of it, in a sense of it just being a ‘Fuck-it kill allot of shit with allot of over powered moves’ except Warhammer (40k) has chainsaw blades.

With Sage handling everything Total War like a boss and Games Workshop having a pretty solid digital record I’m expecting good things from the new Total War. Even if I have no idea what I’m doing.

At the end of the day – BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!!!1111!!!

Update: So I played the game at EGX and despite living up to the expectation that I would be horribly bad at it I really enjoyed it, and it look stunning. Excited to see what we end up with.


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